Archive for the ‘Rants & Raves’ Category

If You Want to Get Rich, Go Into Yard Care, Contracting, or Appliance Repair

Thursday, October 23rd, 2008

If you want to get rich in Beaufort, SC, go into yard care, contracting, or appliance repair.

I haven’t had a vacation since I don’t know when, but my yard guy goes to Florida or Vegas every few months, during which time my grass grows knee deep. The guy who works on my appliances is a member of the Yacht Club and sends his kids to private school. You can’t afford a handy man unless you make seven figures. Last year, I tried to hire a guy to make an emergency repair in my house, and he told me he only did emergencies for clients who kept him on retainer. Don’t even try to hire somebody to clean your house around here. They set up an appointment, go room by room, and give you an estimate of what it’s going to cost. For a minimum of $25 per hour, tax free, they’ll agree to do light cleaning. It takes me an hour to straighten my house before they show up, IF they show up. I have to make all the beds, take out the trash and items to be recycled. I am given a list of cleaning items they prefer using. I don’t dare ask them to clean my windows or they’ll walk out and tell all the other cleaning people how unreasonable I am, and my name will be mud in this town.

Oh, and these people don’t have to wait two months for a book contract to go through; then, another two months for payment. You’d better have your checkbook in hand before they come through the door.

I’m definitely in the wrong business!

My Pig Sty Office

Wednesday, October 8th, 2008

My pig-sty office.

If the Health Department saw my office they would close me down. It’s so bad I shudder every time I step inside.

With each new book, I promise myself that I won’t let things get “out of hand” in my office, but before long, I’m tripping over research books and trying to find important papers beneath a tall stack of correspondence that I plan to answer as soon as I have time. Oh, and did I mention all the papers lining my floor?

Sadly, as time goes on, I start looking as bad as my office. I’m real perky and energetic when I start my new book, but as the weeks and months pass and my deadline approaches my appearance goes to hell. No time for make up OR and the curling iron. At that point it’s all I can do to brush my teeth and take a bath on a daily basis.

Once the book gets into the hands of my editor, and AFTER I crash for 24-48 hours I come up for air, and it takes a week to get my life on track, during which time I run errands, go to doctor and dentist appointments, visit my hairdresser and so on.

If I’ve painted a pretty scary picture, it shows what most authors go through to get the book OUT.

Whew! The things writers have to go through.